I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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