Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
