Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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