things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
