I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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