some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When did angry sex become our thing?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
