I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
