I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You're a waste of cheezeits
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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