I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you inspire me to be a worse person
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
