y did u give ur computer a hand job?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
