We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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