I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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