You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
