dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
