its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
