1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
