Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
