why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
