I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
