hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
