don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
