SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
