how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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