Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
