I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
