Jerry, you need to find god
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
