are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
