hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
