I think I died a long time ago.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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