Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
