Don't you send me to vm
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Less talking, more tequila
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
