forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Randomize
