im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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