My friends, they love my intelligence
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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