maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Watching her eat just hurts me
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
