we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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