I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
