Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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