sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
