Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
