And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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