I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize