So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
