So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
