When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
His nipple licking is glorious
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
