Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It's never too late to be topless.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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