there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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