So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
