Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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