I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
