By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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