did you get engaged???
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
