I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
