I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
