Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
